Broken and Searching Heart

Sometimes God sends our, what we feel are well ordered, purposeful and meaningful lives into a tailspin that, as we see it, suddenly leaves our world turned upside down and backwards. It seems nothing makes any sense anymore and that nothing will ever be the same again. It may drive us away from Him, or drive us to our knees to find out what to do now, and find who and what we truly are, and what our purpose for living is now that everything that we felt stable and secure in has seemingly fallen apart.
 This is where I have found myself in recent years. The brokenness and darkness have been so disturbing it has almost buried me. So I began searching for answers, and seeking God's face and reassurances with every ounce of energy I had left in me--which I assure you wasn't much.

Through my searching, much of what has come to me was the evidence that God was using all this to draw me closer to Him. I finally gave into it and I started writing a lot, just to myself and to God. This was my way of trying to put my struggles into perspective and try to make some kind of sense out of the tangled and twisted thoughts, doubts and fears that had suddenly taken a deadly hold on me.

During my extensive reading and searching a quote came to me quite by accident which immediately grabbed my heart--my writer's heart: "There's something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you..." Beatrix Potter

Because I love to write so much that it sometimes overwhelms me, it was recommended that I start a blog such as this that might help me to find an outlet for my unquenchable desire to write, and maybe give me some purpose for still being alive and useful in helping someone else who might be struggling with the same, or even much different battles.

So, I took the advice. I don't know where they will take me, but here are my "first delicious words." Here is my Writer's Heart, to be opened with hopes to bring some light and hope into someone else's darkness and searching.

I love you, dear broken and searching heart...