When My Heart Cries, Does No One Hear...

There have been times when I've experienced some very dark and lonely seasons. During one of my more lengthy ones I realized that there just wasn't anyone to turn to. No one who could possibly understand what I was going through or how I was feeling...I didn't even understand myself. So, I built walls around my heart and spirit which caused me to withdraw from just about everyone in my life, and pretty much...from life. I shut myself down and closed myself in. I was so confused. Confused and scared about what was happening to me, and I didn't know what to do. I spent days, weeks, and months lost in such horrible darkness and emptiness. I even tried once more to get help from a close friend, but again, I only came away more miserable and confused--why God? Why me?!

Finally one day...feeling completely lost and broken...I went alone and cried out to God...

And after a long time with Him, I sat down and wrote this:

Dear Father, 

I believe I'm finally realizing what's causing this horrible, never ceasing emptiness and tugging at my heart and spirit. I believe I know now what You're trying so hard to make me understand.

I've longed for someone who genuinely cares about who I am, and what I think, and what I feel. Someone who would care enough to take the time, and put forth the effort to be attentive...really see and feel what I see and feel so deeply. Because of this longing, I've often laid my heart wide open, only to leave myself vulnerable and horribly misunderstood.

Just now, as I was trying again to convey my yearning to be understood, and how very much I've always wanted my life to somehow make a difference, I believe I felt YOU tug at my heart of hearts, and You seemed to say, "My child, you're trying to get MY kind of responses from other human beings who I made...just like I made you.  No human can ever understand the spirit or depth of love and devotion that I have placed within your heart for My purposes. Only I understand who and what YOU really are...your 'innermost heart of hearts'...because I'm the One who made you that way. Stop trying to open your innermost being to flesh and blood, who have that same longing to be heard and felt and understood...

Only I will understand.

Bring your heart and spirit to Me, My child! Pour it ALL out to Me! I already know what's there, and only I know what you need. I will never ignore you, condemn you, dismiss you, misinterpret what you're trying to say, misjudge your desires or motives, or push aside the unceasing inner craving of your heart and spirit to be heard and felt. Remember...I made you for Myself.  Stop trying to give what I want from you to others, who will likely misunderstand, or trample under foot and destroy. 

Come to Me with it ALL! 

I love you with an intimately deep and eternal Love that will never fail you, and will never hurt you. I proved that when I died for you and freely forgave you. I wanted you with Me for eternity, so I gave up everything to get you back.

Bring your heart of hearts to Me, My child...I promise you'll never be sorry."

~Unlock the door of the secret garden of your heart--to God...
For He's the only One who can truly understand~